Everyone experiences self-doubt at some point in their lives. And I know that’s a really generalised statement, but it’s true. It can come from that little voice in your head telling you that you don’t know what you’re doing in your business or you’re not good enough to get that promotion. Or, it could come from someone else telling you that you won’t be successful or that you’re not good enough.
I had a mentor who told me that I should pursue a different career path than the one I had. I didn’t ask them for any advice on what career path to take, because I’d already decided. That threw me for a loop though and for a second I actually started to think about letting go of everything that I’d worked so hard for and changing career paths. But that would have meant doing something that I didn’t want to do.
As a coach, part of my role is to help you to overcome the obstacles that are preventing you from moving forward and achieving your business goals. By far, the most common obstacle, especially for women is doubt.
When you doubt yourself, you hold yourself back and give up before you even try. Each of us is responsible for building our own confidence, but there are things that can happen, like hearing a negative comment or doing something new for the first time, that can reduce your confidence and make you feel like giving up.
I’ve got 3 tips to help to build you up when your confidence is feeling low.
Carry out a truth check
Is it true? Real talk, most of the things that we tell ourselves or that others tell us, are based on fear, not reality. If you’re telling yourself that you’re not good enough to have your own business, ask yourself what evidence you have to support that belief. If you’ve never had a business before, then there won’t be any evidence to support that belief you have. So how do you know it’s true? If you have had a business before then ask yourself what learning you can take from that experience that would help you in your new business.
Re-frame
You are what you say you are. So instead of saying “I’m afraid to post a video on social media” say “I’m going to practice speaking on video until I feel comfortable”. You’ve also just given yourself a goal to work towards. In the next tip, set out at number 3 below, you can fill in the details of what it would look like to practice, and how you will know when you’re ready to post your video on social media.
However, the best thing you can do is to post and forget because the longer you wait, the harder it will be. Progress is better than perfection. Ask yourself what it is that you’re really afraid of and then keep asking yourself why. Why am I scared, your answer may be I don’t want to be judged. Ask yourself why you think you’d be judged and then whatever your answer is, ask yourself what if the opposite were true. This is the truest form of self-care.
Take action
You are in control of your feelings and you alone. Your confidence won’t build itself. You have to take active steps to improve your confidence on a daily basis. So start to create a plan for what you will do each day to help you. If you have doubts about your ability to have a successful business, create a plan that is specifically designed around helping you to build a successful business. Do some research to understand what skills and tools you need to succeed in business and when you will take steps to acquire those skills.
If you want to reduce the negative thoughts in your head, create a plan to help you to do that. This might include the use of affirmations which you recite each morning and before you go to bed.
The important thing to do when you’re feeling low in confidence and starting to doubt yourself is not to give up. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of how amazing we are, because unfortunately it’s sometimes easy to forget that. But don’t miss out on something that could be really beneficial to you because of the voice in your head which is based on fear. It’s time to step out of fear and into greatness.
If you need help boosting your confidence then grab the Brag Book workshop.